Social Exchange Theory proposes that a person will feel drawn to other persons that they see as offering substantial benefits with few associated costs. I have a friend who questions things with, "is the juice worth the squeeze?" His parallel of squeezing oranges to create a glass of OJ gets to a cost-benefit analysis approach.
Two factors drive the initial attraction; whether you perceive the other as offering the kinds of rewards you think you deserve in a romantic relationship, and whether you think that the rewards the person can offer you are superior to those you can get elsewhere (McCornack, 2019, p. 298).
Recently, I spoke with a friend who related an initial attraction she was excited about. She said that this one (comparing to her last boyfriend of six months) "checks the boxes" of what she likes and that he seems happy with her physical height (she harbors concern about being 5 feet tall). I asked her, what did she think he saw in her and after some jokes, she giggled and said, "my beauty, my personality, and I'm funny!"
Half jokingly, I asked her had she already thought about what their kids will look like and after an initial denial, she did say that IF they had children, she was super excited about his green eyes and his height.
My friend seems to have a list of rewards to be gained by dating this guy. Also, she either has no costs assigned (yet) or is avoiding them so she may bask in the glow of infatuation. I sincerely hope her benefits continue to outweigh her costs. Ahhh, that glorious cauldron of romantic attraction with its swirling portions of proximity, physical attractiveness, and similarity (McCornack, 2019, p. 296).
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