Cultural nuances with friendship abound and the textbook highlights this aspect of friendship (McCornack, 2019, p. 358). The author's example of Javanese culture emphasizing same-sex friends to share a person's most intimate relationship got me to thinking...
While traveling overseas, I have found that in most cultures, the term "friend" means something and isn't used lightly. A friend is vetted, tried, and true. In contrast, our culture uses the term "friend" to mean just about anything. Like most inter-cultural exchanges, it remains important to ensure our lexicon is established before moving forward.
Once, I worked with an international crowd and one individual was from a country where same sex friends walked together holding hands. While I was walking with this man, he held my hand as we walked to a coffee shop to discuss a project. Separately, we Americans called this "man handing" as it was foreign to us but we knew it was important for the project's success. We also knew that for some members of the team, this was their first international experience.
A few days later, my "man handing" friend stopped by to see me. He apologized to me for holding my hand the other day. He said that he didn't know that "Americans walk lonely." I assured him that there was no need to apologize and that it was my honor to share time with him.
Photo: Geordie Mott/Wikimedia Commons
McCornack, S. (2019). Reflect and relate: An introduction to interpersonal communication. Boston: Bedford.
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